If.

Rudyard Kipling wrote this to his 12 year old son.

If you can keep your head when all about you
     Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
     But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
     Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating
     And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
     If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
     And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
     Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
     And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools,

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
     And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
     And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
     To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And hold on when there is nothing in you
     Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with cowards and keep your virtue,
     Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
     If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
     With sixty seconds worth of distance run
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
     And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Mumford & Sons

I love these words.




How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
This weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Walls.

     There are some people in this world we devote our lives to and invest out selves in; the people we fully put our trust in. We would do anything for them and expect that they would do the same for us. Sadly though, this is not how it always works. Most of the time, for me at least, this is a one way street. Somebody comes into my life and I start investing myself in them. I break down my walls and barriers so that I might let them in. The bad thing about this is that when your walls are broken down and you have no barriers, you are left defenseless and vulnerable. If that somebody can walk in, they can just as easily walk right out, leaving you alone and helpless. Over the years, I've learned to be more careful. I keep my guard up. I protect myself so I don't get hurt, but in the mean time, others are hurt because they wonder why I wont let them in. Maybe I'm just a coward. I'm paranoid and afraid. I've been so naive my whole life. I used to let everyone in. Now the pendulum has swung way too far in the opposite direction. I hardly let anyone in because I'm scared. And at times, I'm even scared to become close to someone. I don't like the hurt of seeing them leave or becoming something I don't know.

Le vie en rose.

I don't pretend to see my life through rose colored glasses. I see the bad in life more then I see the good at times. In a way, its easier to focus on every negative situation, but lately I've taught myself to look for the good. I know I wont find happiness in every situation and circumstance but I know that I can learn something from it. It's cliche to say that its the little 'nothings' in life that count but I can't think of a more true statement. Today is the start of my newest blog, a thousand lights. I hope to be able to write something about each of my days. Whether its a smile or a sorrow, a lesson I learned or a little nothing that made my day, I hope that I can share a little piece of my everyday with you.
Always,
Elisa